How We Got Started....Part 2

Well, you have now seen a side to both of us, and we want to continue the story. I, Gloria, am writing this piece. I spoke in my last post a bit about how laughter was my friend and my enemy. I also spoke of my love for my family. I'm going to continue there.....

I'll not forget the day easily, and I remember that it was in August. My Mum had just told me that there would be a new member joining our family the coming March. I was shocked to the core. A new baby? I was 7 when my youngest sister was born, and when I was 9 and 10, I wanted another baby in the house! At 15, I was old enough (physically speaking) to have my own babies. I just never thought that there would ever be another baby in the house! And so goes a teenagers thinking. I was old enough to clearly understand understand the whole process, and it just seemed plain weird to me that Mom and Dad would want more kids! I mean, good heavens, wasn't 3 loud, crazy daughters enough for anyone? I'm sure my Dad was plenty relieved when the doc announced a boy. I'm sure Mum and Dad found my attitude towards it all a but amusing.
Not only that, I had decided as a young teen that I didn't want to get married till much later in life and I was not going to be a baby machine for any man! LOL! I was all about equality (I think I still am in many ways) and i firmly believed that what any man could do, a woman could also. I certainly was not going to be somebody's live in housekeeper and maid. Many girls at that age dream of a future wedding, and fantasize of future romance. Not me. I wasn't going to be anybody's doormat. Thank the Lord I have learned a few things about marriage since then. I wanted a career and I promised myself that I would make a lot of money and never have to worry about finances. I saw so many people stress over money and I didn't want to be one of them. As I said in an earlier post, I was a very stubborn and independent person. I actually wanted to be different from other girls, I wanted to stand out and do everything one better and be the best all the time. As a young teen, I put a boatload of pressure on my shoulders to be perfect. I wanted to be as perfect as possible and most of all make my Dad proud. What he thought of me meant everything.
On March 7 of the next year, my little brother came into the world. We promptly and instantaneously fell in love and that was that. We spent many nights together, as I rocked him, fed him and walked the floor with him at 3 AM. He was a difficult sleeper and it took the combined efforts of the whole family to get any sleep. In fact, just the other day, my little bro and I were talking about when he was a baby, and I told him he should be grateful that I had changed hundreds of his dirty diapers. He looked at me and said,"Well, thats probably why I love you so much!" Invest in the dirty diapers of babies, and you will have unconditional love for a lifetime...lol.
At that point in my life, I still wasn't very interested in ever having a husband or babies. Husbands left their dirty socks on the floor, and babies cried all night. I kept that mentality even through future boyfriends and my later teenage years. I had my dreams set on a career in healthcare or music. I loved and still love both.
At the age of 18, I had sworn off men and any sort of dating due to an unfortunate and bad experience. I was not happy and was often unwell from all the stress that was around me and all the extra pressure I put on myself. At 18, I was in college full time and worked 2 part time jobs. Most of that was so I could keep busy and forget the boy that had stomped on my heart.
I always find it interesting how different things at different ages become a big deal for us. At 13, it was when the boy I liked didn't call me on my birthday. At 15, the new baby and my "strange" parents. At 16 and 17, more relationship/boyfriend/friend worries. It is often easy for grownups to dismiss the concerns and traumas of their teen because it is just not that big of a deal. Of course it's not that big of a deal to adults because it just seems that there are way bigger problems than laying in bed crying over a boy!
Pretty early in my teen years, I began to become a bit uneasy about my fertility as some things just didn't feel right to me. Perhaps it is for this very reason that I convinced myself early on that I didn't ever want babies.
This is fairly personal information and while I am completely comfortable sharing it, I hope that whether you are a man or a woman, you will be comfortable reading it. I've always thought that men and women should be more open about these things anyway and I know there are a few men that are following this story...:)
Around the age of 15, my menstrual cycles began to completely fall apart. Unpredictable cycle lengths and incredibly painful periods became a part of pretty much my every day life. Even then, at 15, I felt that something wasn't right. Every time that I would get near the end of my cycle, that awful burning pain would spread through my uterus and down my legs to the point that all I could do was lay in bed and cry. At that point, the doctors said that I just had an unpredictable cycle, but that it was likely to settle down after awhile. It didn't, in fact it only got worse as the years wore on. Tylenol 3's with codeine, and Naproxen, a strong muscle relaxant were prescribed. I would simply breathe with relief when they would finally start to kick in to effect.
By the time Nathan and I were engaged in 2005, he was bringing me to the ER every month to get a Demoral shot to control the pain. He would take me back to his parents house and I would lay on the couch gritting my teeth as these awful pains just seemed to slice through my uterus.